


turn on your favorite nightlight

by xuxikr



Series: One Month, One Fic: 2019 [10]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Parents, Domestic Fluff, Growing Up, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Parent-Child Relationship, Single Dad!Jaemin, Slow Burn, except chenle, for renmin, the rest of the dreamies are his uncles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-28 16:08:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20428712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xuxikr/pseuds/xuxikr
Summary: So—here he is, a single dad trying to balance work and family life and on top of all that, a diminishing love life.Or, the four times Jaemin thinks Jisung loves his uncles more, and the one time he realizes that Jisung loves him the best.





	turn on your favorite nightlight

**Author's Note:**

> [biggest sigh of relief]
> 
> honestly, i didn’t want to write a parenting fic immediately right after my enrara and i was trying to write this astronaut!norenmin and a 5+1 nahyuck but i guess… the idea was just calling to me and i had to answer to it yanno?? so i guess this is my brand now, unnecessarily long baby!fics 
> 
> this fic turned out really quite different from what i had planned and writing it was such a struggle because i put myself on a time limit and i didn’t expect it to be this long LOL but… here she is finally, i hope you enjoy!

**0.**

“Any time now, Jisung’s going to say his first words—at least according to the milestones chart the doctor gave me during his last check-up but he hasn’t been saying anything…” Jaemin laments to Renjun over dinner, as Jisung plays on the living room carpet where they can see him chewing on his silicone toy.

Renjun looks over his shoulder to look at Jisung with a fond smile, lifting the _sundae _ to his lips as he turns his attention back to Jaemin. “I’m sure he’ll say them any time soon now. Have you been talking to him?”

Jaemin nods. He has been talking to Jisung about _everything_. He works from home so he has all the time to spend with Jisung—although embarrassingly, he’s been talking to Jisung about things he can’t talk about with Renjun ever. That’s the perks of having a son, despite being a single parent, Jaemin thinks. He has someone to listen to him anytime Jisung’s not crying or eating or making a mess of his diapers.

Renjun grins, his chopsticks trapped in between plump lips and Jaemin would be a liar if he says he isn’t looking. “Really? What have you been talking about?”

It’s there and then that Jaemin feels his blood drain from his face. His throat dries up and his palms begin to sweat—how can he begin to tell Renjun that he’s talking to his ten-month-old son about how much he still likes Renjun? That despite tying loose ends and deciding to remain friends after university—he still likes Renjun so much—and very painfully so at that.

Renjun quirks his brow at him in that manner that makes Jaemin’s stomach clench, and he doesn’t know if it’s because he finds him attractive or if it’s because Renjun knows what he’s thinking about.

But he’s saved by the bell—or rather by Jisung, who has now crawled up to Renjun’s leg and is hugging his entire calf. Renjun’s looking at Jisung with an amused laugh. “Hi Jisungie!” Renjun greets his son, and Jaemin’s heart is crushed at the adorable sight.

Jaemin watches them with a fond expression. Jisung has raised his arms up now, begging to be lifted up into Renjun’s lap and in the moment it takes for Renjun to place his chopsticks down and wipe his hands on his pants, Jisung has lovingly whined—“Jun! Jun!”

There’s a clatter to the floor, and Jaemin’s pretty sure it’s his own chopsticks but the shock of hearing Jisung’s first words overcomes everything else.

It’s Renjun that speaks first, his eyes gleaming with amusement as he scoops Jisung off the floor and onto his lap. “Did you hear that!” He says to Jaemin, then looks at Jisung as he lands a smooch on the child’s chubby cheek. “Can you say that again, Jisungie? _Jun_… Jun!”

Jisung’s looking at Renjun with a lot of interest, his cheeks upturned into a smile to showcase his gums. Renjun blows a raspberry against his cheek and Jisung giggles. “Jun!”

It’s then that Jaemin gains his senses once more. “That’s so unfair!” He whines, dragging his chair so he’s closer to Renjun and Jisung. “I’m with him 24/7 and his first words aren’t appa! It’s Jun! _You_, of all people!”

Renjun sticks his tongue out at him, patting Jisung’s hair. “He loves me more.”

Jaemin frowns at Renjun but shifts his expression into a smile as Jisung looks at him with a curious gaze. _Now_, it’s his moment. “Okay baby… now say… appa! Pa! Papa!”

Jisung stares at him for three seconds. “_Jun_!”

**4.**

“Jisung-ah!” Jaemin calls as he exits out of the laundry room, seeing the living room littered with Jisung’s toys.

Jisung’s nowhere to be seen, but there’s a Jisung-sized lump hidden underneath the blankets on the couch and Jaemin smiles to himself as he continues to search for his ‘missing’ son. “Jisung-ah! Didn’t appa say to clean up your toys after you’re done with them?” He reminds his son gently, bending down to pick up the toys and toss them into the box Jisung has hauled out of his room.

“Isn’t Jisung going to help me?” He wonders out loud, walking nearer to the lump on the couch and the closer the gets, the louder Jisung’s giggles become.

Sometimes, Jisung can be hard to talk to. His son has always been quiet and hides from him at times. But it’s part of their dynamics, Jaemin thinks. Jisung thinks of him as a friend, and he’s okay with that. He’s really fine with that—that makes his relationship with Jisung easier. But he wonders sometimes how it’d be like for Jisung to obey him easily—then again he won’t be Jaemin’s son if he’s ever obedient.

But if there’s one thing that can get Jisung to come out of his hiding spot—it’s his uncles coming over to play with him and visit. So Jaemin, the ever so brilliant dad, decides to pull this card. “Oh no. Whatever will Uncle Hyuck say if he sees Jisung’s toys all messy like this?”

Jisung’s head pops out from the bunch of blankets in a flash, his eyes going wide at the mention of one of his favourite uncles. “Hyuck?”

Jaemin smiles to himself. It’s a success. “Yes, _Uncle_ Hyuck. He said he’ll come over, so why don’t you help appa clean up before he arrives?”

It takes no time at all before Jisung’s jumping off the couch, folding the blanket haphazardly as he dashes around the living room to pick up his toys. He’s thankful for Donghyuck sometimes because Jisung always wants to impress him, for some reason.

Whenever Donghyuck comes over, he’s always hit with the hardest reality checks. It’s how their friendship works, Jaemin figures. Maybe Donghyuck’s the tough love kind of best friend, and he needs that from time to time—and he hates to admit, but Donghyuck’s unwarranted guidance has led him to make some of the best decisions of his life.

They’re eating afternoon snacks as Jisung takes his nap on the living room couch, his excitement after hearing Donghyuck is coming got the best of him so he’s still knocked out. And although Jaemin’s glad that his son is sleeping well so he can grow up tall, he’s quite afraid of the predatory glare in Donghyuck’s eyes as he stabs his canelé with a fork.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Jaemin asks, eyes narrowing at his friend.

Donghyuck shoves the piece of canelé into his mouth as he talks. “Renjun told me what happened before he left for New York.”

For a moment, Jaemin wishes Donghyuck and Renjun didn’t have a neural connection.

Jaemin doesn’t want to remember that night when they’ve had too much wine and Jisung’s fast asleep in his bedroom. They have been talking about Jisung’s sketches that Jaemin has put up on the fridge, with Renjun interpreting it through the eyes of an art studies major and Jaemin contributes helpfully by saying all of those creatures are Jisung’s imaginary friends. He still has yet to know their names, though. 

One thing leads to another, and an empty wine bottle later, Jaemin’s kissing Renjun.

He doesn’t know what happened next because he passes out after that. He remembers the kiss but waking up with Renjun gone and a blaring hangover isn’t the ideal way to deal with the fact that he kissed his ex-boyfriend, that’s now his best friend, and is essentially his son’s favourite uncle.

They haven’t contacted each other since then, because Renjun had to leave for New York for his new job at the Met and Jaemin’s well… Jaemin’s just been a big coward.

“It’s been a few weeks. You have all the fucking means to contact him and you didn’t. What the fuck is stopping you?”

Jaemin steps on Donghyuck’s foot under the table. “Language, there’s a child!” He bites as Donghyuck hisses at him. “It won’t work out—he’s busy, he’s halfway across the world and I don’t want to lose him again because of my stupid feelings that I should have gotten rid of when we graduated!”

They’re whisper screaming now, both not wanting to wake Jisung up. “Duh—stupid, you think I’d be this mad at you if your feelings weren’t—”

“Uncle Hyuck!”

He doesn’t know who Jisung saves this time, but the smile Donghyuck gives him as he rises from his chair to catch Jisung who’s running up to him says enough for Jaemin not to let his guard down. This conversation isn’t finished, and it sure as hell isn’t going to be over even if Jisung is distracting Donghyuck.

Jisung bounds up to Donghyuck’s arms, throwing himself over his uncle and Donghyuck grabs him in perfect sync. “Jisungie!” Donghyuck grins as he straightens up, Jisung giggling in his arms as his kid wraps his arms around Donghyuck’s neck.

Jaemin smiles to himself, clears their plates and lets them talk amongst themselves. Donghyuck’s busy as is, being a self-made CEO of a house furnishing brand and all that, but he’s grateful that he still has the time to come over and talk to Jisung. As Donghyuck has stated multiple times before, they would all move the time-space continuum itself if it meant spending time with their favourite nephew.

Jaemin really, really loves his friends.

As Jaemin’s washing the dishes, Jisung comes running into the kitchen. Jaemin looks at him curiously as he turns off the tap and watches as Jisung pushes his stool off away from the side of the counter to the fridge, where his drawings are all displayed.

Jaemin wipes his hands on his apron (pink and frilly, a gift from Donghyuck himself) and asks Jisung. “What are you doing, Jisungie?”

Jisung doesn’t respond, instead, he climbs the step stool and removes his drawings from the fridge. Jaemin asks again. “Jisung-ah, what are you doing?”

His son climbs down the stool, his drawings held up as he waves it at Jaemin. Wordlessly, Jisung runs back to the living room. Intrigued now at his child’s excitement at plucking off his drawings (Jisung’s always insisted that his drawings be put up on the fridge or _else_), Jaemin exits the kitchen and follows Jisung’s trail.

There in the middle of the living room is Donghyuck lying on his front, his feet swinging behind him as he doodles on Jisung’s favourite sketchbook with Jisung’s favourite crayon set. And really, it comes as a shock to Jaemin that Jisung is _sharing_ his things with Donghyuck because Jisung doesn’t like sharing his favourite things.

Jisung sits down in front of Donghyuck. “Uncle Hyuck! Look, my friends! I made them.” The child puts the papers in front of Donghyuck’s face, and Donghyuck laughs in reaction as he pulls it away from his face so he can look at it.

Jaemin watches from the threshold of the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe with a small smile as Jisung talks to Donghyuck about his drawings—a topic Jisung hasn’t opened with him. He often wonders what is it about Donghyuck that has Jisung talking his ear off, but Donghyuck doesn’t look one bit tired from entertaining Jisung. And anyway, he’d rather perish than ask Donghyuck what is it in him that has his son babbling all day to him.

“Who is this friend of yours?” Donghyuck asks about the vague drawing full of yellows and blues, it resembles a flower—his son is talented.

Jisung gasps. “Oh!” He takes the paper from Donghyuck, puts it up next to Donghyuck’s face with a confused look on his face. Donghyuck tilts his head to the side equally, if not, more confused. “It’s not a friend…” Jisung says, his round lips forming a little pout. “It’s Uncle Donghyuck! I made you because I missed you.”

If Jaemin has seen anyone melt, it’ll be like this—Donghyuck’s eyebrows melding together in the middle of his forehead, an awfully loud coo coming out of his lips as he draws Jisung close to his chest for a hug. “You _drew_ me because you missed me?”

Jisung nods as he tries his best to return Donghyuck’s hug with his short arms, his cheeks squished against Donghyuck’s chest. “Yes! And Uncle Renjun and Uncle Jeno and all my friends! See?” Jisung scampers away from Donghyuck, only to procure more sheets of paper from the pile before he presents them proudly to Donghyuck.

Donghyuck looks at them with a big smile, and Jisung finds his place on Donghyuck’s lap as he starts telling Donghyuck about his sketches with great enthusiasm. “This is Uncle Renjun! Yesterday, appa told me Uncle Renjun is in far, far, far away! Because he has grown up things to do—but that’s uhm… boring! But! This one is Uncle Jeno! And his cats! I like Seol the best! Do you like Uncle Jeno’s cats, Uncle Hyuck?”

Jaemin can’t help the way his jaw drops at the amount of words that’s come out of Jisung’s mouth in the span of less than a minute. They haven’t even noticed Jaemin wallowing in self-doubt regarding his parenting skills as Donghyuck tries to explain to Jisung how he likes Jeno’s cats, but they don’t seem to like him back.

How come Jisung talks to Donghyuck more than he talks around Jaemin? There is no manual that fell from the heavens on how to be a good parent once you become one, but how come Donghyuck already seems so good at it? Without even being a parent at that?

Jaemin watches on a little bit more, before the dishes start to call him back so he can finish washing them.

“Are these your friends?” Donghyuck asks to the remaining sheets of paper Jisung hasn’t talked about (he has about three different sketches of Jeno’s cats).

“Yep,” Jisung pops his syllable, and Jaemin smiles to himself—he has been listening to Jaemin after all, “this is Ddung and Bbang.” He points to the drawing full of reds and oranges now.

Donghyuck makes a sound of interest as he scrutinizes Jisung’s drawings closer. Jaemin always knew Jisung had imaginary friends, but Jisung hasn’t referred to them when talking to Jaemin. “They look really nice, Jisungie. Where did you meet them?”

“Here, in the house!” Jisung says brightly, spreading his arms wide. Donghyuck finally notices Jaemin and gives him a tiny smile, but his attention is shifted quickly back to Jisung when he hears his next words. “They play with me because appa is busy sometimes. Do you know what appa’s doing on the… uhm… computer, Uncle Hyuck? Because appa is on the computer many, many times, appa can’t play with me. But it’s okay! Ddung and Bbang play with me!”

Jaemin’s always been familiar to heartbreak, but he thinks there can’t be a bigger heartbreak than this.

Jaemin approaches Donghyuck once they have tucked Jisung to bed after dinner. They’re sitting on the living room couch and Donghyuck gives him an understanding smile. “Are you going to castigate me over Renjun or over Jisung?”

Donghyuck lets out a breathy laugh and nudges Jaemin’s leg with his knee. “No. I want to ask if you’re okay.”

Jaemin’s shoulders drop at Donghyuck’s words. He’s okay, or so at least he thinks he is. Working at home has given him the liberty to manage his time and there have been times when he spent more time coding on the computer than playing with Jisung. His work from home means that his work is accessible to him at all times of the day, and with deadlines coming to flood him—it’s easy to lose himself in work. Unlike if he has an office job, he can leave the office at 5PM, like a normal working adult. But his life is different.

He rakes his hand through his face and leans down on the couch, exhaling. “I’m trying my best.”

“I didn’t question that. I asked if you were okay, Jaemin.”

That’s all it takes for Jaemin to erupt, the emotional distress he’s been holding on to since this afternoon finally bursting at the seams. It feels a little like relief, but a little bit more like defeat. “I think—I think so, what’s not okay is Jisung. He thinks he can’t bother me when I work but that’s on me, isn’t it? I’ve been working so hard—he’s going to pre-school soon and I need money to send him and pay the bills so I’ve been working extra hours… I shouldn’t have done that.”

“You needed to do it Jaemin, you had no choice. Is his mom still sending child support?” Donghyuck’s hand makes its way to his nape, massaging softly.

Jaemin nods, his face in his hands as he leans forward. “She has. But you know—she recently left her job and she’s still looking for one. Life abroad is hard—she’s supporting her family there too on top of that.”

His situation with Jisung’s mother is unorthodox. Jisung wasn’t made out of love, but of a hook-up gone wrong but Jaemin made sure to raise him with and full of love. His mother didn’t want to keep the baby, but Jaemin promised her that he’ll take full custody once she gives birth. So, since Jisung’s birth, it’s been Jaemin on his own—his mother talks to him through video calls and phone calls since she lives abroad, and she helps with the expenses sometimes but Jaemin knows he can’t just depend on that.

So—here he is, a single dad trying to balance work and family life and on top of all that, a diminishing love life.

“I’m just so worried what if I’m not letting him feel that he’s loved? What if he thinks I don’t love him enough—Hyuck, I don’t want him to think that ever!”

Donghyuck presses down on his nape and it’s effective to calm him down. “Jaemin!” He calls and Jaemin looks at him, feeling like he can’t breathe out of worry. “It’s never a question of love.” Donghyuck adjusts himself on his seat and pulls something out from the pockets of his jeans. It’s a sheet of paper folded a few times.

Jaemin looks at the paper confusedly but listens to Donghyuck anyway. “Jisung loves you, more than he loves anyone—see?” Donghyuck unfolds the paper and it’s a Jisung-branded drawing of a stick figure next to a computer, there’s a smaller figure next to the stick and hearts all over the drawing.

He almost cries—but Donghyuck opens his mouth before he can. “He loves you, and your son is really smart for his age. He understands that you have to work, so he doesn’t want to bother you—and I know he’s quiet around you so next time, if you see him playing alone, try and engage with him, yeah? Your son has the loveliest stories, I’m sure you know that. They’re all about you.”

Donghyuck hands him Jisung’s drawing and gives him a small hug. Jaemin accepts the paper, and subsequently, Donghyuck’s hug too. “Thank you for spending time with him today, Hyuck… if not for you—I wouldn’t have known…”

“It’s no problem, Jaemin. I told you before, right? I’ll move the time-space continuum itself for Jisung.”

Jaemin laughs and tucks the drawing in his pocket, makes a mental note to scan it and make it his desktop wallpaper later. “And I’m glad you will.”

Donghyuck puts him in a headlock but pauses and lets his arms fall once Jaemin struggles. “Don’t think I forgot about Renjun. Do your best with him too, yeah?”

He’s confident when it comes to Jisung, but with everything else, he isn’t sure if he can’t do it—but Donghyuck looks at him hopefully, as if he believes that there can be a future where Jaemin and Renjun are together—where they can raise Jisung together. Although he doesn’t want to admit, he catches himself thinking about that future often.

Jaemin inhales and leans back on the couch, detangling himself from Donghyuck. “I always do my best.”

“I know you do.”

Jaemin keeps the door to his office ajar, in the case that Jisung may be in an emergency and he may need to call his attention. But in the years that Jaemin has been working at home and in the years that Jisung has known how to speak, never once has Jisung come up to his office to ask him to play.

Today is no exception.

He’s hunched over in his computer, debugging his recent code—completely immersed in it. That is, until he hears Jisung speaking seemingly to himself in the living room not far away from where his door stands open.

Jaemin looks at the time in his desktop, just in time for Jisung to wake up from his afternoon nap but it seems like his son has woken too early. He looks at his unfinished work, saves his work for tomorrow and leaves his office with a purpose.

“Jisung-ah,” he greets his son, who pauses in his tracks, running around the couch like he has a playmate. Jisung looks at him, surprised.

“Noisy?” Jisung asks, as if he’s being scolded and Jaemin’s heart breaks at that.

“No, darling. Appa’s finished with work, and I’m wondering if I can play with you too? Along with Ddung and Bbang?”

The way Jisung’s face lights up glues back the pieces of Jaemin’s broken heart. “Yes!” Jisung beams and jumps up on the couch, bouncing up and down on his heels as Jaemin approaches him.

“Wanna play hide and seek?” Jaemin asks, catching his son as he falls into Jaemin’s arms like that.

Jisung pulls away from Jaemin with a laugh, nodding his head so hard his hair is bouncing along with every movement. It’s a heart-swelling sight that Jaemin will absolutely die for. “Yes, yes! Appa you’re it! Okay! Count to ten okay?”

Jisung scampers away from him, and with all the love he has for Jisung in his heart, Jaemin closes his eyes and counts to ten—pretends he doesn’t hear the boy’s little footsteps to his own bedroom.

Four years ago, Jaemin swore to never let Jisung feel unloved. Four years later, he hopes he’s doing good at keeping that promise.

**6.**

“I’m excited!”

Jaemin buttons up Jisung’s shirt and lets him slide his arms into the jacket sleeves. The child is shifting his weight on his heels and toes as Jaemin works on getting him dressed for the cold outside. “Excited for Uncle Jeno’s cats or because you’re seeing Uncle Renjun again?”

Jisung looks up at him, holding back his laughter before he erupts into it just as Jaemin zips up his jacket. “Both! But I like Uncle Jeno’s cats a lot—I miss Uncle Renjun but the cats, appa! The _cats_!”

Jaemin laughs and ruffles Jisung’s hair, slotting the beanie over his head before his son can complain. “Okay then, go get your bag and your shoes then we’ll head to the car to meet with the cats and your uncles. Good?”

The insouciant child nods, his eyes bright, the excitement he has just at the thought of playing with Jeno’s cats is filling him to the brim. He’s quite afraid that Jisung might ask to get cats of his own soon, but he saves that thought for another day and focuses on the main conflict of today: Renjun.

He places a kiss on Jisung’s cheek as he lets the child go to find his bag and put his shoes on. Jaemin disappears in his room for a moment to _well_… grab the car keys and give himself a little pep talk.

Usually, Donghyuck is here to give the pep talk but that’s impossible since Donghyuck is living with Jeno now (how his friends went from dating to exclusively dating to living together in a span of a few short _weeks_, he has no idea. Maybe it’s Donghyuck that has game, or maybe it’s Jeno)—and they’re holding this little get together since Renjun has come back from New York, for work-related reasons.

He doesn’t know why he feels so timorous at the thought of seeing Renjun again. They’ve talked about what happened two years ago over the phone, and smoothed things out between them—promised to remain friends on top of all their history and the stupid little mistakes in between. He talks to Renjun frequently over chats and calls as well, in fact, Renjun has talked to Jaemin and Jisung more than Jisung’s own mother has talked to them in the past two years.

And that’s saying something—because she always checks up on them.

Although he agreed with Renjun to keep things platonic between them, that still doesn’t stop Jaemin from feeling very non-platonic towards him. Everyone knows that he still likes Renjun, and worse of it all—even _Jisung_ knows that he likes Renjun and he isn’t sure if Jisung can keep a secret to his most favourite uncle.

A part of him regrets telling Jisung his tragic love story with Renjun now that his son can actually remember his many sob stories about his failed love life. But then again, is Jisung really his son if he hasn’t heard so many of Jaemin’s dramatic life anecdotes?

There’s a giggle from the doorway that has Jaemin pulling himself away from his thoughts so hard he gets whiplash. There’s Jisung, too tall for a six-year-old, standing by the door with a knowing smile on his face, arms crossed over his chest like he’s judging Jaemin for mumbling to himself.

“Appa,” Jisung begins, and Jaemin smiles as he steels himself for whatever snarky comment his child has for him. Among the things he regrets, letting Donghyuck and Renjun influence his son is on top of that list. “It’s just Uncle Renjun, you know?” Jisung says smugly, like he knows the internal turmoil his father is going through right now. With the look on his face, he probably does.

Jaemin grins at his child. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He finds his wallet and car keys, slots them into his pocket as he walks towards Jisung who makes no attempt at changing his position. “But I know I told you no shoes in the house, right?”

He ushers Jisung out of the room, but that doesn’t stop the child from teasing him. “Yes! But you were taking so _long_. Oh! Chenle taught me a song yesterday. Do you want to hear it, appa? _Appa and Uncle Renjun sitting on a tree! K-I-S-S_—”

Jaemin placates Jisung by putting a hand over his mouth before he even finishes that god-awful song. Grade school has really been teaching Jisung quite a lot.

What greets Jaemin and Jisung is an arguing couple over who forgot to take the chicken out of the oven and now they have to deal with an over roasted chicken. The apartment smells of something charred and burning, and Jaemin stands with Jisung in the doorway of the apartment fanning their noses at the smell.

“Geez,” Jaemin sighs as he closes the door behind him, helping Jisung shrug his jacket off before he runs off to play with Jeno’s cats, all of which are looking at Jisung excitedly. “What happened in here?”

It’s Jeno that pulls away from the old married couple argument first. “The chicken burnt, now we don’t have chicken!”

Jisung runs away from Jaemin, not to greet his uncles, but to greet Jeno’s cats as the three of them come crowding into him the moment he steps into the living room.

Jaemin hangs Jisung’s and his jackets on the rack, putting away their shoes as he steps inside. “How did you guys manage to mess up the chicken of all things?”

Donghyuck has come to distract Jisung away from the cats, giving him a big bear hug and lifting him into his arms as he does so. Jisung has grown a lot over the two years, and his legs dangle out awkwardly in Donghyuck’s hold but Jisung hugs him back nevertheless. “I told Jeno to take it out but he was busy gaming. Hi Jisungie, did you miss me?”

Jisung nods and places a wet kiss on Donghyuck’s cheek, to which Jeno whines like a petulant child and demands a kiss from the kid too as he walks over to them.

“I missed Uncle Jeno too!” Jisung says as he plants a kiss on Jeno’s awaiting cheek. But he pulls away both from Donghyuck and Jeno, wriggling out of Donghyuck’s grasp so Donghyuck has no choice but to let him get back down on the ground. “But I miss Bongshik and Seol and Nal more!”

Jaemin laughs as Jeno and Donghyuck look defeatedly at Jisung chasing the cats. “Don’t worry about the chicken, I’ll just order—I know a good place.”

As Jisung disappears somewhere, chasing Bongshik out of the room and as Jeno and Donghyuck return to the kitchen to prepare whatever else they have prepared for tonight’s dinner, the door behind Jaemin creaks open.

He reacts too late because suddenly, there's a wooden door hitting his back and Renjun gasping in horror as he doubles over at the pain that shoots through his spine. "Oh my god, Jaemin!"

But the pain that washes over Jaemin is nothing in comparison to whatever he feels that makes his pulse beat in his ear deafeningly loud at the sound of Renjun's voice.

"I'm fine." He manages to croak out loud, rubbing the spot where the doorknob hits the small of his back as Renjun rushes to his side, a small hand pressed to the knobs of his spine in alarm and worry. It's the first time he's looked at Renjun this close in years, and he still feels the same as he did since the last time.

Donghyuck, Jeno and Jisung haven't noticed Renjun's appearance, so for now, it's just Jaemin and Renjun staring dumbfounded at each other.

"Are you okay? Oh my god—I'm so sorry, I didn't know you were there... why were you just standing there?" Renjun's hand is pressed flat on his back, kneading on the spot where Renjun thinks the door hit him and Jaemin almost wants to melt on the spot. He's smarter than this, yet he doesn't understand why words have failed him at Renjun's mere presence.

"Uncle Renjun!" And again, it's Jisung that saves his ass from utter embarrassment. Renjun retracts himself from Jaemin and his entire face lights up at the sight of Jisung who comes running up to hug him, the older toppling backwards at Jisung's impact.

"Jisungie!" Renjun coos, crouching down a little so they're at each other's eye level as they hug. Renjun gapes at Jisung for a while, sizing up the child and he laughs in disbelief, looking around at his friends that have now gathered in the living room upon Jisung's announcement of his arrival. "I can't believe he's grown this tall! Jaemin, what are you feeding him?"

Jaemin laughs and moves away from the door to the crowd that's gathered in the middle of the living room. Donghyuck's giving Renjun a hug as Jeno waits for his turn. "I don't know? Food? He's really grown so tall so quickly. I don't know how that happened."

Jisung laughs from in between Jeno and Renjun as he gets smushed in their hug. "I want to be taller than appa! Taller than Uncle Renjun!”

Renjun pulls away from Jeno to pinch Jisung's cheek. "Then that means growing taller than me?"

Donghyuck interjects. "Everyone is taller than Renjun, admit it."

"Hey!" Renjun protests indignantly. "It's not like you're that much taller than me! What's a centimetre amount to anyway?"

"_Three_ centimetres, Renjun. You wish you can be me."

Everyone falls into perfect sync with each other then. Renjun and Donghyuck bantering, Jisung talking to Jeno about cat care and Jaemin watching on as Renjun finds himself within their friend group once more. That's the beauty about his friends, Jaemin thinks—time and distance don't matter when it comes to them. They'll always be like this, always will be each other's best friends.

And although he still waits for that hug from Renjun, he doesn't mull it over. As long as Renjun is within arm's reach, then Jaemin is happy.

After dinner, everyone gets to catching up. Jisung is still busy with the cats, treating them like his very own playmates and Jaemin's already thinking of the lint roller in their cupboard for Jisung's clothes later.

Jaemin's helping Jeno with the dishes as Renjun and Donghyuck converse over god knows what in the living room. He likes spending time with Jeno, because Jeno knows him inside and out that words aren't necessary for them to communicate.

But this time, the elephant in the room is too gigantic for even Jeno to ignore. He still hasn't talked directly to Renjun during the duration of the dinner and he should be ashamed he knows… even more so now that Jeno has taken this opportunity of washing the dishes to press him on.

"You know, Jaemin. You can just talk to him like a normal human being. You're not being slick by purposely not looking at him. Totally not cool." Jeno says, passing the suds-free plate and Jaemin dries them as he sighs.

"I know that. You're not the first person to tell me that. I just need time—alone time with him maybe?"

Jeno laughs, nudges him with his elbow and sprays water at him playfully, much to Jaemin's annoyance. "Alone time? Come on, with Donghyuck and Jisung around you know you can never have alone time. Just treat him like you would normally treat him if you hadn't kissed him. He's not stupid, he definitely notices the way you act."

Jaemin freezes at Jeno's words, realization dawning upon him that Renjun has definitely noticed how he's been acting all night. This should be a night of them rekindling, bonding, yet here he is making it all weird.

When they're done with the dishes, Jeno gives him a pat on the back and squeezes the junction of his neck and shoulder. "Just try… not to be weird okay? It's getting so painful to watch."

Jaemin keeps that in mind, or at least he tries to keep that in mind as they watch movies. Donghyuck and Jeno are piled on one sofa, legs tangled with each other while Jisung sits on Renjun's lap on the couch, his son completely comfortable petting one of Jeno's cats on his lap. Jaemin's right next to them at a respectable distance, hugging his legs close to his chest as another of Jeno's cats demands some space on the couch too.

It's Jisung that chooses the movie, and of course they watch Spider-man.

Jaemin doesn't remember which version of Spider-man they're watching, all of it just background noise as he focuses on the sight that's more important than a teenager swinging off of New Yorker buildings.

It's Renjun's fingers carding gently on the soft strands of Jisung's hair. Renjun musing him as Jisung tells him about his favorite Spider-man movie and how he wants to become just like Spider-man when he grows up. Renjun listens to him with a smile. The utter patience and adoration given to Jisung by Renjun is so painfully domestic and Jaemin craves it all, craves it all the time.

He doesn't even hear what they're talking about because they're immersed in their own conversation in little whispers. However, the way Jisung's eyes light up as he gesticulates wildly towards the TV screen tells Jaemin enough about the topic of their conversation.

It's so painful—the way he pines for Renjun to be with him, to be near him, for him to be as in love with him as he is with him but he knows it's not healthy for him to keep clinging onto decade-old feelings that should have been thrown out the window the moment him and Renjun decided to remain friends for the better. But apparently, Jaemin doesn't get the concept of moving on and he's still stuck in this endless loop of falling for Renjun again and again… especially now that Jisung has made it a point that Renjun is his favourite uncle.

The silence from the movie is disrupted by Jisung crying out suddenly. "Nal!" He cries and jumps out of Renjun's hold. The four adults are understandably confused at Jisung's distress, but the kid makes no move to explain as he keeps looking around and even under the couch, looking for Nal.

It's Jeno that realizes what's happening. "Oh no... Nal probably got out of the window hole again..."

The adults all scramble up to their feet upon Jisung's distress at the missing cat. Jaemin hasn't even noticed one of the cats missing and he doesn't even expect Jisung to notice with the way he's so focused on the movie and on his conversation with Renjun but it seems that his care for the cats transcends everything else.

Jeno holds Jisung by the shoulders to stop him from looking around. "It's okay Jisungie. Nal does this all the time, she'll be back before you know it, okay?"

But Jisung sniffles, rubs the back of his hand against his nose as Jaemin pulls him to his side, sitting him down on his lap to calm Jisung down. “Cats do this all the time, Jisungie. You don’t have to worry about Nal. She’s perfectly safe, right, Jeno?”

As Jeno opens his mouth to respond, Jisung stomps his feet—throwing a full-on tantrum now. “It’s cold outside!”

Donghyuck chimes in as Renjun moves over to Jaemin’s side to appease the crying child with back rubs. “Okay. How about me and Uncle Jeno look for Nal and you wait here with Uncle Renjun and your appa until she comes back. Sound good?”

Jisung looks around at the adults surrounding him for a moment, his lips pursed in thought until he ultimately shakes his head and wipes his tears with the sleeves of his shirt. “I want to look for Nal, too.”

Donghyuck looks at Jaemin for help and Jaemin puts on the _dad shoes_. “Jisung, you said it’s cold outside, right? Your uncles don’t want you to get sick if you help to look for Nal in the cold.”

Jisung shakes his head, grabs Jeno’s hands and practically begs for him to let him go with them. “No! Uncle Jeno! I’ll be good, I won’t complain! I’ll look for Nal quietly. Promise!” And when Jisung makes that cross over his chest to seal his promise, Jeno gives in.

Jeno looks at Jaemin, then at Jisung. “Okay. But you must promise you will stay close with me and Uncle Hyuck, okay? And you have to ask your appa for permission before we can go.”

Jaemin chuckles to himself at how easily Jeno gives in to Jisung. Jeno says he’s the worst at handling kids out of the four of them, and at this point, Jaemin thinks Jisung is _handling_ Jeno—not the other way around.

“Appa… can I please, please, please, please, _please_ help Uncle Jeno and Uncle Hyuck look for Nal? I’ll be good I promise! I’ll wear my jacket and my beanie and I’ll stay close to them!”

And when Jisung has those puppy dog eyes, who is Jaemin to say no to him?

“Okay.” Jaemin holds out his pinky, and Jisung laces his own together with Jaemin’s before Jaemin can even say anything. “Pinky promise.”

“Pinky promise!”

Apparently, Jeno knows where Nal hangs around most often whenever she goes on her escapades, so he promises Jaemin that they’ll be back in no time. Jaemin isn’t worried about letting Jeno and Donghyuck be responsible for his child because he knows they love him as his own and would go to the hell and back just to protect him.

What’s Jaemin’s more worried for is being left alone in the apartment with Renjun as they wait for Nal, or for the trio to return—whoever comes back first.

Jaemin doesn’t miss the knowing look Jeno gives him when they exit out of the door. _Alone time_. The words ring in his ears and he almost regrets asking the universe for it.

“Wow, I didn’t know Jisung’s that invested in Jeno’s cats?” Renjun pipes up from the couch once the door has closed behind the trio.

Jaemin laughs, shaking his head as he walks over to his previous spot on the couch. He leans back, arms spread over the couch’s back rest casually. “Yeah… he’s really excited about them. I’m scared he’ll ask to get a pet cat of his own soon. You know, six-year-old desires.”

Renjun reaches over to the sofa where Jeno and Donghyuck have been previously and procures the remote from its crevice.

When Renjun returns to his seat, he’s closer to Jaemin than previously. Jaemin pretends he doesn’t notice this.

“Mhm,” he hums, pressing play on the movie once more, “what’s stopping you from getting a cat?”

Now, that’s something Jaemin has thought about multiple times. “I don’t know if I’m ready to care for a cat—or if Jisung is ready to care for a cat. Cat sitting Jeno’s cats is different from having one of your own that you’re fully responsible for, you know?”

Renjun chuckles. “You literally have a child.”

“I know—but, it’s different! Jisung is not a cat.”

Renjun pauses for a moment, the remote control tucked underneath his chin as he watches the movie idly and Jaemin knows the way he looks picturesque isn’t purposeful but that doesn’t stop Jaemin from staring at Renjun, albeit in little stolen glances.

“It’s the cat hair isn’t it?” Renjun chimes after a moment.

Jaemin snorts. “It _is_ the cat hair.”

They giggle about it for a second, before silence and the sound effects of the movie overcome the atmosphere. Donghyuck’s and Jeno’s surround system is awfully good, Jaemin makes a mental note to ask them what appliance they bought.

Being Renjun should be easy, after all, they’ve been together for a long time. Yet, as the silence and the movie effects envelope them, Jaemin finds it harder to breathe or to even stay still next to Renjun. It’s so juvenile to act this way, and he feels as if he’s regressing back to his teenage when he had the biggest crush on Renjun before acting on it when they got to university.

His heart hammers in his ears, hyperaware of their proximity and it’s Renjun that breaks the silence, with a question that Jaemin fears the most.

“What’s your problem with me?”

Renjun is still not looking at him, his gaze focused directly on the television as Jaemin freezes in his spot at the question. He has no _problem_ with Renjun, he has a problem with himself—and that’s his problem.

Jaemin’s voice breaks when he answers. “What are you talking about?”

Renjun turns to him this time, pauses the movie and looks at him with a shrug. “You know I’m not stupid, Jaemin. You’ve been acting weird the whole night and I don’t understand why. Did I say something wrong?”

Jaemin shakes his head, denying Renjun’s indictment vehemently. “No! There’s nothing wrong—I just… I’m just… there’s really nothing to say, Renjun.”

Renjun’s gaze on him doesn’t falter, his eyes boring holes into Jaemin’s skull and his skin itches from lying straight to Renjun’s face—when he knows that he’s incapable of lying to the other. Renjun rolls his eyes and scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest as he speaks. “After all these years, you still think you can lie to me? Come on, Jaemin. I thought we were over this stupid childish phase of keeping things secret. Can we act like adults for once?”

Jaemin presses his lips together, he’s the one to break eye contact and look to his lap in shame. He _lied_ to one of his best friends over something so blatant—and he knows he has no way out now. The trio on an excursion to find Nal won’t be back soon so he has to tell Renjun how he’s feeling, for the better or for the worst.

His relationship with Renjun shouldn’t be complicated, yet Jaemin’s inability to let go and let him go is hindering any sense of simplicity within their relationship.

Jaemin inhales, then exhales. “You have to promise that you won’t hate me even if you learn the truth, okay?”

The expression on Renjun’s face shifts, from irritation to worry. “How can you even think that, Jaemin? I _love_—I love you and Jisung—Jeno and Hyuck too… I can’t hate any of you even if I wanted to.”

Love. The word tickles his heartstrings and Jaemin tries to not hyperfixate on that. Of course, Renjun loves hm. They’ve been friends for ages after all.

“Yeah… that’s quite of stupid of me to assume but… listen okay—just listen and don’t judge me for what I’m about to say.”

Renjun’s expression softens then, his arms are relaxed at his sides as he lets Jaemin speak. Under Renjun’s unwavering gaze Jaemin feels so stripped and bare—his next words don’t help the feeling of vulnerability either.

But if anyone has seen him more vulnerable, it’s Renjun.

“The truth is, I thought I got over you. What with the time difference and distance and everything… but we started talking again, and we talked so often I forgot I was supposed to be forgetting my feelings for you. Two years later, I haven’t moved on still… so now you’re here again and it’s just making me feel all the weird things! I’m sorry, I know I should’ve done good on that promise and forgotten my feelings for you when you moved to New York but it’s not that easy, Renjun! It’s not that easy to fall out of love for you.”

There’s pin-drop silence, and all Jaemin hears is his blood rushing to his head at the absolute bareness of it all. This moment right here, with Renjun staring at him dumbfounded, with his hands shaking as he finishes his monologue, Jaemin gets reminded of everything that he’s ever feared.

Renjun releases a loud exhale, combing his hair back with both of his hands as he lays back on the couch. “I’m sorry.”

Jaemin prepares himself for the heartbreak that’s to follow. Of course, it’s always an _I’m sorry_. How can he never learn? Renjun’s a heartbreak after another, yet that doesn’t stop Jaemin from foolishly holding on to that tiny bit of hope—that maybe Renjun still has some semblance of feelings for him too.

He tries to break the tension with a laugh, but it sounds more jagged than he wishes. “That’s okay, it’s not your fault that you don’t love me like that and I get it! It’s totally fine, I’m sorry for acting all weird—”

“If you ask me on a date now, I will say yes.”

Jaemin wonders if he’s dreaming. It feels like it. The impact of Renjun’s eventual rejection hasn’t hit and he’s pretty sure this isn’t real—anything that’s coming out of Renjun’s mouth is just him making it up, right? “Wait, what?”

Renjun faces him again, grabs his hands firmly in his own. Jaemin can only look, can only listen, can only be at the edge of his seat, awaiting Renjun’s every word.

“I… my job… the reason why I ran out on you that night is because of my job. I didn’t know if I can do long-distance relationships—and it would be selfish of me to ask you to wait… I didn’t want to be that kind of person. But I wanted to remain friends, I wanted to care for you and Jisung—it was selfish of me to ask you to fall out of love… that quickly.” Renjun explains, his eyes focused on their joined hands but his voice shows enough of his emotions.

“But I came back here now because… there’s an opening, at my job, to relocate here in Korea so I took it the first moment I heard it… because I didn’t like being away from you, from Jisung—and… if you still like me, if you’re still into me like that… I’ll say yes if you ask me out on a date, otherwise, we can just forget this conversation ever—”

That’s what brings Jaemin back to reality, it’s what reminds him that this is real and Renjun is returning his feelings. The Renjun of his dreams doesn’t retract his words before he can even say anything, but the real Renjun right in front of him is doing that exact same thing—his defence mechanism.

Jaemin slaps Renjun’s hands away from his, only to grab them back so their fingers are intertwined. “No. No, Renjun. I’m not letting you take away my chance of taking you out on a date before I can even ask you out on one.”

Renjun looks at their intertwined fingers, up to Jaemin, and it’s only now that he sees that Renjun’s eyes are red with the beginning of tears. He looks oddly adorable. “So is it a date?”

And really, he should be over the butterflies. He should be over the giddiness, but he can’t help the smile that pulls at his lips as he speaks. “It’s a date.”

When Jeno, Donghyuck and Jisung return to the apartment, Jaemin and Renjun have decided on a date, on a place, and how they’re going to tell their friends and Jisung that they’re going to start working on their stunted relationship now.

Jaemin thinks it’s going to be easy anyway, Jeno and Donghyuck both know they’ve always had lingering feelings for each other. Jisung, too, that child hopes nothing but for Jaemin’s love life to flourish—with his favourite uncle, no less.

But for tonight, they agree to keep it with them until their first date. So when Jisung comes back with an armful of Nal and Donghyuck telling Jeno that he’s right about Nal’s hiding spot, they welcome the trio with warm chocolate drinks.

The movie is long forgotten, because now they’re conversing at the kitchen over hot mugs of cocoa. It’s amazing how Donghyuck hasn’t noticed the shift in the tension between Jaemin and Renjun, but Jeno definitely does but he doesn’t say anything. The knowing looks are enough for Jaemin to bring his arm away from the small of Renjun’s waist.

When it’s time to go home, Jaemin has a bit of trouble pulling Jisung away from the cats.

“I don’t want to go!” Jisung huffs and puffs, his tiny fists set on his side as he looks up at his father who has his jacket ready for him.

“Jisungie.” Jaemin says, slightly stern as he bargains with his son. “Why don’t you want to go? Your bed’s all warm waiting for you, don’t you want to go to sleep?”

Jisung seems to think about it for a moment, but he shakes his head as he runs away to hide behind Jeno. “I want to be with the cats.”

Jeno kneels beside Jisung. “But it’s also time for the cats to go to sleep. Thank you for helping us look for Nal tonight, and I promise—cross my heart, that Nal will be safe and sound and she’ll be ready to play with you again the next time you come over.”

Nal’s sitting pretty around Jisung’s ankles, the other two cats bunched up around Jaemin’s and Renjun’s feet as they stand to leave. Jisung looks at the cat around his ankles and crouches down to pet it, pouting as he makes the decision to leave. “Okay… be good, Nal.”

“And you be good too, Jisungie. See you soon, okay?” Donghyuck swoops in to take Jisung’s jacket from Jaemin’s hold, walking over to where Jisung and Jeno are so he can help Jisung wear it.

Renjun looks at Jaemin with a smile, a silent conversation that speaks of their fondness for their friends.

“Okay. Let’s go, it’s getting late and you won’t grow taller if you sleep late.” Jaemin says and that’s all it takes for Jisung to come scampering towards him, cat hair and everything.

They bid goodbye to their friends, Donghyuck showering Jisung’s face with kisses and Jeno pinching him on the side with that stupidly knowing look on his face. He already knows that Jeno will tell Donghyuck about his observations tonight so he rushes out of their building as quickly as he can, with Jisung and Renjun in tow.

Jaemin has offered to drive Renjun home as his apartment is on the way to theirs, so Jisung’s seated in the backseat, with Renjun right next to him on the passenger seat.

The moment the engines whir to life, Jisung begins to talk.

“Appa! Can we get a cat for my birthday next year? _Please_?”

Renjun laughs, looking at Jaemin from the side, mouthing the words _cat hair_ as he turns to look at Jisung. “You think you can take care of a cat, Jisungie?”

Jaemin looks at Jisung through the rearview mirror, his son awfully ecstatic at the thought of getting cats, his scrawny legs dangling off the edge of his seat as he swings them.

Jisung nods. “Yes! I’m going to be seven next year! I can take care of a cat, I water the plants in the house, right appa? Do you like cats Uncle Renjun?”

Jaemin thinks about it. Jisung does water the plants, it’s a little chore he’s assigned to Jisung to teach him responsibility even as young as he is. Renjun’s still looking at Jisung, and Jaemin almost laughs at his expression at being asked if he likes cats.

“Mhm… I think they’re fairly cute, they have their charms. Why?”

And Jaemin snickers at that—Renjun has always been a dog person.

“If you live with us and you don’t like cats, I think it’s going to be a problem.”

Jaemin almost hits the brake far too quickly at that—but he stops smoothly just as the light turns red. Renjun’s understandably shocked at Jisung’s words, his mouth open as little fits of giggles start to come out from him. Jaemin turns to look at Jisung with a frown, but his child only giggles back at him and sticks his tongue out.

Oh, if Jisung only knew.

Jisung falls asleep half-way to the ride home, Renjun’s house is twenty minutes away and he’s been looking fondly at Jisung all the time his kid has fallen asleep.

“I really missed Jisung. He grew so tall since the last time.” Renjun comments, shifting back and sitting properly on his seat.

Jaemin glances at Renjun, then at Jisung before he turns his attention back on the road quickly. “He grows up so fast, I don’t know where he got that.”

Renjun snorts. “Certainly not from you. You were the shortest until high school. His mom is quite tall, isn’t she?”

“Calling me short is brave coming from you, Injunnie. But yes—his mom is quite tall.”

He wonders if Renjun and Jisung’s mom can be friends, but he figures that’ll come with time. After all, they both love Jisung to no end and that is a solid enough foundation of friendship.

“No, I was just describing you during middle school. Even I was taller than you. Wait, how’s Jisung doing at school, anyway?”

Jisung at school is always something that Jaemin will be proud to talk about. “At first, he’s a bit awkward around kids since he’s more used to having adults around him. But he got used to it—he has a best friend now, can you believe that? This kid named Chenle, he always talks about him and I’ve met Chenle before. He’s absolutely lovely. No more imaginary friends, but he has a best friend for real—I’m so proud of him.”

“That’s really good, but you still kept his drawings, right? I’ll skin you alive if you threw them away.”

“Oh no! They’re still displayed on our fridge. He hasn’t been drawing recently, dancing’s been taking up so much of his time and I think he really likes it.”

They converse more about Jisung as they drive, catching up on his son’s milestones and Renjun is as proud as Jaemin when he hears about them. They are stories that Renjun has heard of before, yet neither of them get tired of it anyway. The topic of cats is brought up again once they arrive at the last block to Renjun’s place.

“Are you really going to get him a cat?” Renjun asks, the streetlights filtering in through the tinted windows of his car illuminate his face in a way that makes him look otherworldly while talking about cats, of all things.

Jaemin looks at Jisung through the rear-view mirror and sighs. “I’m not sure.” Jaemin turns the next corner. “He really loves cats, Jeno’s cats—specifically, I don’t want him to hate me if I don’t get him a cat but I also don’t want to sign up for anything without thinking about it a lot, you know?”

He hears Renjun chuckle next to him, and Jaemin turns to him with a confused glare. “Jisung? Hate you? He loves you the most, you know that?”

Jaemin smiles inwardly, his pride growing inside of him. “You have so much pride in that.”

“Of course. I would know if someone loves you, right? And, he’s your son after all, you taught him nothing but love.”

In that moment, this is all that matters. Renjun next to him, and Jisung fast asleep in the backseat. For the first time, Jaemin’s feels like his life is finally falling into place. “Right.”

**10.**

Jisung has never met Mark. And really, Jaemin hasn’t met Mark in so long he’s almost forgotten they’re friends. But that’s the beauty of friendship, isn’t it?

Mark’s a friend from high school, Donghyuck’s first love and overall the senior that graduated first and left everyone behind when he went to university. He doesn’t know what Mark’s been up to in the recent years save for the casual birthday greetings they’ve exchanged and the random times he gets brought up in conversation.

But now, he’s here standing in Mark’s presence as they meet coincidentally at a coffee shop not too far away from where he lives, along with Jisung and Renjun.

“Mark hyung?” He greets the old friend, and Mark is blithe at the reunion.

They share pleasantries and hugs, until Mark has him sitting down on the table by the window, chatting away all the years that have passed.

“I can’t believe we met again—how long has it been?” Jaemin asks, poking his iced americano with a metal straw as he gazes at Mark in utter disbelief.

Mark laughs, rubbing his nape as he ducks his head in embarrassment. “Oh, way too long… how’s everyone doing?”

Jaemin smiles. “Well… Jeno and Donghyuck are going steady, if that’s what you wanted to ask.”

He knows Donghyuck and Mark’s break-up hasn’t been the prettiest, so he doesn’t really know how to deal with this. He’s far too used to hearing the end of the break up story from Donghyuck, and he isn’t sure if Mark wants to rekindle old high school heart breaks anyway.

Mark takes a sip of his own drink, a small smile in his never-changing face. “That’s good, good for him—Jeno always had the biggest crush on him. Anyway, you? Um… Jisung, right?”

Jaemin grins with pride now, unconsciously puffing his chest out as he talks about his son. “Yes! He’s 10 years old now, hyung. Actually, they’re on their way to meet me here.”

Mark raises a brow in slight confusion. “_They_?”

Jaemin realizes then. “Oh, me and Renjun are together now—again, well… _finally_. It’s a long story. He picked Jisung up from school and we’re going to get some snacks here.”

“Wow, I’d love to meet them—I hope Renjun doesn’t hate me that much?”

He thinks about Renjun and Donghyuck’s neural connection, and honestly, he can’t find the words to say that will be of slight comfort to Mark. “I can’t promise you anything, hyung.”

When Renjun and Jisung get there, Jaemin has ordered their favourite pastries for them. Jisung has done well on his dance classes, so they figured he deserves a little celebration after school.

Renjun is staring at Mark, as if judging him without even saying anything and it’s understandable how Mark cowers underneath Renjun’s gaze. Jisung, on the other hand, is completely oblivious to the stare-down that’s happening between the two adults and is far too busy enjoying his chocolate drink to care. Either that, or Jisung’s innate shyness when it comes to meeting strangers is overcoming him again. Jaemin thinks it’s the chocolate drink.

Jaemin clears his throat and holds Renjun’s hand underneath the table, to take his gaze away from Mark who sits across them. “So, Mark hyung—what have you been up to in the past few years again?”

Mark visibly gains confidence now, his work something that he wants to be proud of. “I’ve been producing music! I started to make music back in Canada but companies back here picked up on some of my stuff and I’ve been back here for like… more than a year now?”

“A year.” Renjun says, looking at Jaemin with mild surprise. “You’ve been here a year hyung and you haven’t talked to any of us? You wound me.”

Renjun has the terrible habit of being crass, although he admires Renjun for saying whatever he wants whenever he wants, the look on Mark’s face is almost pitiful that Jaemin finds the need to step in.

“I’m sure you’ve had a busy year, hyung.” He says, the hint of pity obvious in his voice and Mark takes that cue to change the topic. Renjun has moved on from castigating Mark to wiping Jisung’s chocolate-stained lips. Jisung is ten-years-old now, yet Renjun still treats him with the utmost care.

Mark takes a bite of his bread and swallows. “Yes, actually. Have you heard EXO’s new song? Actually,” Mark lets out a little laugh, “I’m the producer of their song.”

Usually, Jisung is a quiet kid that doesn’t talk to strangers or even interjects into adult conversations. But the mention of EXO, his favourite boygroup has Jisung dropping everything—looking at Mark with a slightly stunned expression.

“EXO?” He asks, practically jumping out of his seat but Renjun puts his arm over his shoulders to keep him seated. Jaemin knows how much his son likes EXO, his room full of posters of the boyband, begging Jaemin to get him EXO albums when they come out. It’s all very endearing, and it comes as a surprise to Jaemin too that Mark knows EXO.

Mark turns to Jisung with the biggest grin he has yet. “Yes! Are you a fan of them, Jisung?”

Jisung nods so hard Jaemin worries that his head will fall right off. “I am! I love Kai hyung so much! I really want to dance like him in the future.”

Mark looks to Jaemin, then to Jisung, then back at Jaemin again. “Wow? Do you guys have plans on making him audition? I’m sure any company will pick him up if you try.”

Jisung has been casted a couple of times before during his school performances, and although Jaemin wants the best for his child—he really wants Jisung to study first. He clears his throat, shaking his head as Jisung puts on that defeated smile he always has when they’re talking about this.

“Not yet. Jisung’s still too young, you know? I want him to have a normal childhood. I’ve heard things about the idol industry.”

Mark nods, understanding—intentionally looking away from Renjun’s glare. “I see that. But if Jisung ever wants to come and visit SM Entertainment, look around and maybe meet EXO… feel free to contact me, yeah?”

Renjun nudges Jaemin’s leg with his knee, raises a brow and it’s that unspoken conversation that transpires between them. Jisung is absolutely ecstatic, his eyes gleaming with excitement at the mere mention of EXO and now he knows he has to deal with Jisung begging him to become an idol later.

Jaemin smiles wryly. “Sure, hyung. I’ll let you know.”

Unsurprisingly, Jisung begs for him to let him go with Mark the moment their front door closes.

“Appa! Please, please, please let me go with Uncle Mark? I really want to see the building and everything! What if I bump into Kai hyung? If I bump into Kai hyung my life will be complete!”

It’s Renjun that enters the house first, Jaemin and Jisung following suit as the child clings on to his father’s middle, his lanky arms wrapped around Jaemin’s waist. He has that look on his face that everyone knows Jaemin can’t say no to.

Jaemin pats Jisung’s head, his hand travelling down so he can squeeze Jisung’s cheeks as well. “Hm, I have to talk about it with Baba first is that okay?”

Jisung’s face lights up, a thousand suns not amounting to how Jisung looks like now. “Okay!” He cheers, pulling himself away from Jaemin so he can latch onto Renjun this time. “Baba! Baba! Will you let me go, please?”

Jaemin sees Renjun turn around to face Jisung, his previous irritation from Mark all dissipated now as he looks at Jisung. He cups Jisung’s face in his hands, squeezing his cheeks until Jisung looks like a puffer fish. “Like your appa said, we have to talk about it. But why don’t you go and feed Pocky while we talk?”

Their beige cat still hasn’t seemed to notice their arrival, so Jisung obeys and runs to the kitchen, where he assumes Pocky is. Pocky is always in the kitchen.

When Jisung is out of earshot, Jaemin walks over to Renjun to wrap an arm around him. Instantly, Renjun melts against his hold. “So, that was one weird encounter.”

Renjun inhales, pulls away and hits Jaemin’s arm lightly. “You could’ve have told me Mark hyung was there! I wasn’t prepared to see him.”

Jaemin laughs and pulls Renjun back into a cuddle. “I was surprised too! For a long while, I thought I was seeing a ghost honestly.”

Renjun continues to press against Jaemin, until Jaemin manoeuvres them so they’re walking backwards to the couch. He sits down, tugs Renjun along with him and somehow, they manage to settle without breaking their hug. “I don’t know if we can trust him with Jisung… I mean… he’s gone off to ghost us for years?”

“That’s true, I can’t even defend him on that.” Jaemin runs his fingers through Renjun’s hair, the comforting action makes Renjun lean against him. “But also… did you see how happy Jisung looked earlier? We promised we’d always make him happy, and I think this isn’t something we should pass once the opportunity comes.”

Renjun closes his eyes, seems to think about it for a while before he sighs. It’s then that Jaemin knows Renjun has agreed. “Okay, but you’re coming with Jisung. I’m not letting Mark hyung alone with our child. And! You’re the one telling Donghyuck and Jeno all about this.”

It’s been four years since Jisung started calling Renjun as _baba_, yet every time it happens—every time Jaemin hears Renjun call Jisung his son, he can’t help the utter giddiness that passes through him. It still feels like he’s dreaming, sometimes.

He doesn’t even care that he has to tell Donghyuck and Jeno. “Okay, that’s fair enough.”

Renjun nods and adjusts himself so his head is lying on Jaemin’s lap. Somewhere from the kitchen, they hear Jisung calling Pocky to get down from the cabinets.

Telling Donghyuck and Jeno, especially Donghyuck, about Mark coming back into their lives after a decade of silence goes surprisingly well. Perhaps he underestimated Donghyuck, but it’s even Donghyuck that suggests they all go and meet again—like the old times. Jaemin makes sure to tell this information to Mark.

Renjun has work at the museum so they can’t go, Jaemin made sure to finish all his deadlines early so he can accompany Jisung to the company. Jisung is absolutely excited, holding a copy of an EXO album close to his chest during the entire car ride, and even during the entire walk up to Mark’s office where a staff has kindly led them.

Mark’s office is filled with high tech audio recording gadgets. This isn’t Jaemin’s expertise so he can’t name it one by one, but it looks like it came straight out a K-Drama about idols. He won’t be surprised if it’s actually of that calibre.

Mark welcomes them with open arms, literally—because Jisung bounds up and hugs Mark, thanks him for letting them inside when his son has barely seen anything. The little studio Mark has for himself has photographs hanging on the wall, and despite the dim lighting, he can see that those are EXO members in the pictures.

“Uncle Mark, can we meet EXO now?” Jisung asks ever so innocently, holding up his copy of an album and Mark laughs, taking the album and putting it on the side.

“Later. Wanna check out how they recorded Love Shot first?”

And that’s all it takes for Jisung to drown in absolute wonder of it all.

Mark takes Jisung through the album, track by track and even lets Jisung sing Love Shot in the booth (Kai’s part, of course). Jisung is filled to the brim with so much happiness that Jaemin doesn’t even remember when’s the last time he’s seen Jisung this happy.

And for some reason, Jisung inside a recording booth, Jisung dancing on a stage, Jisung working with EXO are all visuals of the future that he can clearly see. Yet, his heart longs for Jisung to live a normal life—but if it’s what his son’s heart desires, who is he to hinder him from achieving his dreams?

Mark’s showing Jisung pictures on his phone—probably pictures of EXO with him and Jaemin is sitting on a couch, texting Renjun about everything that’s happening.

“Can we meet them now, Uncle Mark? I really want Kai hyung to sign my album.” It’s not so very Jisung to ask for what he wants immediately, and it amazes Jaemin sometimes how fast and how much his son is growing each day. He watches on carefully.

Mark, taken aback by the request, laughs a little. “Sure, Jisungie.” Mark grabs Jisung’s album from where he left it, stands up and comes to pull Jisung along with him. When they pass by Jaemin, Mark asks him. “You wanna meet Kai too?”

And really, who doesn’t want to meet Kai?

After that, Jisung is on fire.

Quite literally, because Jisung has been working extra hard during his dance lessons that he has fallen asleep more than once during class. Jisung ended up meeting Kai and Baekhyun, and Kai even told Jisung to audition for SM and he’ll get right in. That is what fuels Jisung’s fire.

And really, Jaemin wants Jisung to be happy—but he also believes that education is important. The last straw is when Renjun sees Jisung’s failing score on his recent exam, chucked in the bathroom garbage bin.

Renjun and Jaemin decide to talk to Jisung about it, and when they ask Jisung to come to the dining table to talk, the child breaks.

“I’m sorry—” he begins in tears, even when neither Jaemin and Renjun haven’t said anything.

Jaemin doesn’t like seeing Jisung cry, doesn’t want to make him sad, doesn’t want to inflict stress on his child. But it’s a conversation they must have, Jisung must learn that his actions have consequences, that with every choice comes an event that we may or may not have any control over. Usually, it’s the latter.

It’s Renjun that speaks up first. “Why are you crying, Jisungie? We aren’t scolding you, we aren’t mad at you.”

Jisung digs the heels of his hands to his eyes to stop himself from crying. It’s a futile effort. Jaemin’s heart breaks at every tear drop that runs down Jisung’s cheeks. But it’s something that must happen, something that must be done. “I feel so bad—I… I didn’t want to tell you my exam because I know you will be disappointed.”

Jaemin reaches over, not being able to take it anymore, and holds Jisung’s hands in his. Jisung lets him but doesn’t stop sobbing. “I know you feel bad, Jisungie. But remember the promise we had? You have to study first, before anything else.”

Jisung nods, all tears and snot. “I know… I haven’t forgotten… It’s just… studying is so hard, appa—baba… I’m not smart like Chenle, I just… all I know is that I like dancing—I’m good at dancing.”

Renjun pats Jisung’s hands in Jaemin’s. “Darling, you don’t have to compare yourself to Chenle. We know it’s hard, but you have to try your best, okay?”

“I-I am trying my best… it’s just… it’s just… dancing… that’s what I want…” Jisung pulls his hand away from them, clutching at his chest as he begins to cry even more. “Appa—baba, I really want to get into SM, I really want to dance—”

Jaemin sighs, and he knows that his decision is made. He looks to Renjun, who shares the same sentiment just with how he looks at Jisung. “Is that what you really want, Jisungie?”

Jisung wipes his tears with the neck of his shirt, quite gross but adorable. Jaemin pats his cheek as he speaks. “I just want to make you proud, appa… baba.”

Before he can even think, Jaemin’s feet is bringing him next to Jisung, enveloping his son in a bone crushing hug and it doesn’t take that long before Renjun is joining in on the hug. “Sweetheart, you have always made us proud.”

He hears Jisung sniffle in between their arms. “Then, I want to make myself proud.”

At eleven years old, Jisung enters SM Entertainment.

**16.**

At thirteen, Jisung leaves SM Entertainment.

The company faced quite some controversies, and the trainees had to be let go. For the most part, Jisung seems to be taking it well. He tells them he’s quite happy that he tried to become an idol, but he’s putting that past him now—he still wants to study dance in the future, but maybe not like where the idol life is leading him to be.

Jisung still dances, for his school competitions and does his best at his academics as well. Jaemin couldn’t have asked for a better son.

And Jaemin is proud of his son, for knowing and accepting that sometimes things don’t go your way, and there is no reason to cry over spilled milk.

Jisung is sixteen now, it’s been three years since he’s gone back to the normal civilian life and perhaps the funniest thing of it all—he has outgrown Renjun now.

It’s so hilarious to Jaemin, to see Jisung sling his arm over Renjun’s shoulders as if they are same aged friends when Renjun has raised Jisung like his own child, too.

On top of that, Jisung has started high school too. It’s an amalgamation of new things for them as parents and for Jisung as a growing teenager—but they get through it. Somehow.

Although, it’s been a long time since Jaemin was a teenager, he still remembers his teenage quite fondly. Of course, the very reminder of his teenage is the one that he wakes up to every morning—it’s not that hard to remember the fondest memories of his youth.

It’s a Saturday afternoon when Jisung brings Chenle home. At this point, Chenle’s presence in their home is welcomed—Chenle treats the place like his own and Jaemin doesn’t mind at all. He prepares snacks for them, asks them if they need anything, but for the most part, he lets them be in their own little world.

Sometimes, Jisung and Chenle remind him a lot of his teenage with his friends. He doesn’t know if it’s the way they stick together like they’re attached to the hips, or if it’s the way Chenle has been affecting Jisung, _positively_ if he may so add. It’s quite comforting to know that his son is forming lifelong relationships, much like he has with his own set of friends.

Jaemin’s tending to their garden, accessible from the house through their large glass doors so he can still see who moves along their living room and kitchen. Renjun’s working on an exhibit overtime, so it’ll be late before he gets home. Meanwhile, Jisung and Chenle are doing homework upstairs at Jisung’s room.

He’s harvesting their planted greens for tonight’s dinner when he hears an argument erupt from somewhere—then there’s the loud pattering of footsteps from the stairs and in a flash, he sees Chenle leave the house with his things thrown haphazardly into his bag and hears Jisung’s door slamming close.

When dinner comes and Renjun hasn’t gone home, Jisung is suspiciously quiet.

Pocky is sitting on his lap as he eats, and Jisung pets him idly with his non-dominant hand. He expects Jisung to talk to him about it, what Chenle running away is all about but all Jisung does is poke at his food and pretend he’s enjoying what’s served in front of him.

Jaemin pours him orange juice. “Are you enjoying your dinner, Jisung?”

Jisung straightens up, surprised at Jaemin calling his attention out of the sudden. “Of course, appa.” Jisung says, a forced smile on his face as he lets Pocky go to utilize both of his hands to eat. “I love everything you cook.”

Jaemin smiles a little, pushes Jisung’s glass of juice nearer for him to take it. “If you want to talk about anything, you know I’m here.”

The teenager is surely tired of hearing that now, but Jaemin makes it a point to emphasize that he’s here, and he will listen. Jisung smiles a little, thanks him for the orange juice and takes a little sip out of it, barely even taking a gulp. “Thanks, appa. Do you know what time baba will get home?”

Jaemin knows better than to force a story out of Jisung, and anyway, once he’s ready Jisung will surely tell what’s been bothering him. It’s important to give Jisung his space.

He pulls his phone out from his pocket, momentarily breaking their rule of no phones on the dining table to check Renjun’s message, these days, he’s starting to become forgetful. His phone is unsurprisingly blowing up with messages from their groupchat, all five of them, Mark included this time around.

He ignores those texts and finds Renjun’s message through the myriad of notifications. “He said he’ll be home around 10 so don’t wait up for him. Why?”

Jisung lifts his shoulders in a shrug, looks down at his plate of dinner and smiles a little. It’s only now Jaemin notices that Jisung’s eyes are puffy—and there can only be one reason why his eyes are puffy like this. He’s seen Jisung cry all his life, from when he’s a toddler to even when he starts to enter teenage—hence, Jisung hiding his tears from him is quite a new occurrence.

He wants to get to the bottom of this.

“Nothing. Just curious.”

It’s never nothing when Jisung and Renjun talk.

He knows that between the two of them, Renjun is the better listener. It’s Renjun that knows what to say and when to say them, although Jaemin has tried his best restlessly at becoming a good listener—there’s just no one defeating Renjun. So, really, he understands that Jisung seeks Renjun’s advice first.

He’s waiting in their shared bedroom, with Renjun already home and Jisung ambushing him the first thing upon his arrival. They’ve been in Jisung’s room for an hour now, and Jaemin almost has an inkling of what they’re talking about.

Jaemin’s already settled in bed, his glasses perched atop his nose as he reads a book on his iPad titled _‘How to Talk to Your Teenager’. _It’s almost ridiculous how he seeks the guidance of self-help books, but he only wants to learn and do the best for Jisung. After all, parenting, no matter how old children may be, is a continuous learning process.

As Jaemin finishes reading a chapter, Renjun enters their bedroom with a sigh.

Jaemin puts away his iPad and welcomes Renjun with open arms. Renjun crawls into the bed, still in his outside clothes but he falls into Jaemin’s arms quickly anyway. They adjust, until they’re both sitting up with Renjun in between Jaemin’s arms and legs, Renjun’s back pressed to Jaemin’s chest as they cuddle.

“So… can I know what all that was all about?”

Renjun laughs, turning his head to look up at Jaemin, he presses his hand to Jaemin’s cheek and he leans against Jaemin’s warmth. “I missed you too.” Renjun says, leans forward and gives him a kiss.

They kiss for a while, soft and gentle, patient and endearing. This is perhaps Jaemin’s favourite time of the day, when Renjun comes home to him after a long day of work, and they shower each other in the affection they have always promised. Even after so long, the spark that ignites between the two of them has never died—never once dwindled or subdued.

When they pull away, their lips are pink and Renjun is leaning back against him, eyes closed. “Can I change into my bedroom clothes first or do you want me to tell you what that was all about?”

Jaemin pretends to think about it for a moment, but he presses a kiss to the side of Renjun's head and pats his hip for him to get up. “No, you can go and change. I want you comfortable, okay?”

Renjun kisses him again, then pulls away to head into the shower.

By the time Renjun has returned, Jaemin’s halfway asleep and is only awoken by the dip Renjun’s weight brings on the bed.

Renjun has his arms wrapped around his waist, his chin digging against Jaemin’s shoulder and he rolls over to meet him in the middle. “Hi. You always take the longest showers.”

His husband takes that lightly, leans forward and brushes their noses together before he pulls away so they can sit. Renjun takes Jaemin’s fingers in his, rubbing the calloused palm and drawing lines upon it.

“So… what did you and Jisung talk about?” Jaemin asks, tugging Renjun forward so their legs are overlapping.

“It’s about Chenle.” That’s information Jaemin already knows, how he raises a brow, letting Renjun continue on.

“You don’t have to feel guilty about me telling you this or whatever is that you worry about all the time—Jisung told me it’s okay that I tell you this, he’s just a little shy and doesn’t know how to talk to you about it.” Renjun explains, his eyes in little crescents as he smiles.

Jaemin pats Renjun’s knee, his other hand moving to tuck Renjun’s hair behind his ear. “Come on, tell me about it. I’m dying here.”

“Well… Jisung and Chenle had an argument earlier because this girl was asking Chenle to the dance…” Renjun drags his words on, that sly smile never leaving his lips because this is an all-too familiar love story.

Jaemin lets out a sound of surprised. “Huh, never took Chenle for a lady’s man, but go on.”

Renjun laughs. “That’s the thing! So they had this big fight, because Jisung didn’t know about it either until today—and well, Chenle hasn’t said yes but Jisung kind of… got really agitated talking about taking dates to dance.” His husband pauses, pokes him on the shoulder accusingly. “I think you know why.”

Perhaps the saying like father, like son has some semblance of truth behind it. He remembers quite clearly, how he had this huge fight with Renjun over their high school dance because someone (Jaemin doesn’t even remember who anymore) asked Renjun first. The only difference is that, Renjun had already said yes to the person before Jaemin can even gather enough courage to ask Renjun to the dance. Their most memorably summer fight ensued right after.

Jaemin laughs. “Are you telling me that Jisung is exactly like me? Shocker.”

Renjun rolls his eyes, pokes Jaemin’s chest again. “The only difference is that, Chenle hasn’t said yes and Jisung wants to ask him to the dance. Can you believe it? Our little baby is all grown up, crushing on his best friend and wanting to ask him to the dance!”

It’s a lie to say that Jaemin hasn’t seen this coming. Over the years, Jisung has grown closer—closest to Chenle, and really, he’s quite confident to say that he knows Jisung better than anyone, perhaps even better than Jisung thinks he does.

“So, did he ask you for advice on how to confess?” Jaemin asks.

Renjun nods his head, inhaling through his teeth. “Something like that. I guess he just wanted to let me know, because you know—me being the _better_ listener between the two of us,” he teases, “but I think he knows what to do—just needs the perfect timing. I told him that he can talk to you when it comes to confessing.”

Jaemin furrows his brow at Renjun. “Me? Is that sarcasm or did you really tell Jisung to ask me how to confess—you know it’s Donghyuck that’s the expert on confessing! It took me so long to confess to you!”

Renjun shushes him, pressing his index finger to his lips and Jaemin pretends to bite it. Renjun wipes his finger on his shirt. “But you’re the expert on Jisung, babe.” Renjun says. “If there’s anyone that can help him express his feelings, it’s you. You’ve taught him everything he knows about love, I’m sure you can teach him just a little bit this time, right?”

And how can he even argue with that when he knows that Renjun is always right? “Right.”

Tuesday afternoon, a few days after the whole thing, Jisung comes out to help Jaemin in the garden. Jisung has never liked gardening, the whole digging and fertilizing—although sometimes he volunteers to water the plants, it’s all he ever really does.

Pocky’s playing in the garden as they work, chasing down bugs as she runs around and Jisung’s watering the plants with the hose as Jaemin tends to their greens.

Jaemin’s been waiting for Jisung to come to him, and here in the garden, underneath the afternoon sun, Jisung walks away from the plants to walk over to where Jaemin is, his pants rolled up as he digs into their plot.

“Appa.” Jisung calls his attention, and Jaemin quite literally drops everything for him.

“Yes, Jisungie?”

Jisung takes a deep breath, fiddles with his thumbs before he lets them fall to inside with an exhale full of resolve. “Can you help me with Chenle?”

They’re sitting on the lawn chairs next to each other, watching as Pocky walks back and forth in the garden. They’re drinking some lemonade to match the heat and Jaemin finally tells Jisung what he thinks about this.

“You know, my and your baba’s love story started out a little bit like this…” Jaemin starts, laughing at the familiar story.

Jisung groans, his face in his hands. “I _know,_” he whines, having heard their tumultuous love story so many times over and over, “it’s so painfully funny, appa—but I swear, I wanted to ask him to the dance and confess but apparently this girl already asked him…”

Jaemin hums, reaches over to pat Jisung over on the back. “But Chenle hasn’t said yes to them, right? How is the situation even between the two of you—you know, you have to go with the feel, go with the timing it it’s right, if it’s perfect… then you just go for it! If you think he’s the one and it’s worth ruining your friendship over—then go for it.”

His son pulls his head away from his hands, looking at his father quizzically as he speaks his advice, if one can even call it that. “Well… I haven’t told you this but…” Jisung seems to hesitate for a moment, the tips of his ears going red at whatever he wants to tell Jaemin. Now, this makes Jaemin curious.

Jaemin pokes Jisung’s side, tickling him in the process and Jisung squirms as he tries to suppress his laughter, shielding himself from Jaemin’s attacks. “Appa!”

“Come on, tell me—I’m already curious.”

Jisung doesn’t look at him, hides his hand behind his face and speaks, although his voice is muffled—Jaemin hears it loud and clear. “Chenle’s my… first kiss—and that’s what made me realize it appa… that I really, really like Chenle.”

The news that Jisung has had his first kiss makes Jaemin smile, pride blooming in his chest that Jisung is exploring things like this, it’s normal, after all—and he feels more appreciation for his son that he tells this to him openly, shares such a personal moment with him that Jaemin almost wants to pull Jisung in a hug.

“That’s with consent, I hope?”

“Of course! I would never kiss him without consent. But we were just friends you know—we wanted to have our first kisses already… I didn’t think it would be not platonic for me… but… I guess I just really like him.”

Jaemin turns to his son, the inner romantic in him jumping out. “Jisung-ah, I raised you to be brave and to know how love—no matter what happens, you and Chenle will still be friends because you love each other in that way first and foremost. So, I think it will be fair both to you and to him if you tell him. You don’t have to get a response now, but as long as you express it—then you’re good.”

“And anyway, you are full of love—we love you, your baba and I, even all your uncles. There’s always someone out there to love you, Jisungie. So don’t be afraid of being hurt because with love comes the hurt, and it’s okay to experience that… we’re only humans after all.”

Jisung’s looking at his hands, twiddling his fingers together as he listens to Jaemin’s words. He thinks back to his book, _How to Talk to Your Teenager_ and wonders if he’s doing well, if he’s following all the tips and tricks stated in that book.

But as Jisung looks up at him, with a smile so big it makes him start to look like he’s going to laugh, Jaemin knows that he’s doing well.

“You know appa, you don’t give the best advice but that’s okay—because you love me the best.”

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact! the first nct one shot i published was a renmin, and that was a year ago!! Same month!!! ig u always go back to ur roots
> 
> tell me what u think of jaemin's parenting skills! lol  
cc: [xuxikr](https://curiouscat.me/xuxikr)  
twt: [@renduckie](https://twitter.com/renduckie)


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